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Recidivism

I looked out the door
No familiar face I looked at my phone  No new messages I waited for my phone to buzz or ring But no light no hope.  Tears stumbled down my eyes every night  Wondering whether it was my mistake Wondering whether I was the one to blame  Wondering whether I should take the initiative  But my mind shouted, "You've been hurt once don't repeat it again." But my heart asked, "Isn't it worth it? Getting hurt by someone you love again?"

2016- A flashback

2016 was one of those indescribable years which had so many twist and turns and ups and downs like it was an actual roller coaster ride.

Let's start with January, February and March. I was that one innocent girl who got hurt from people's words and let's just say my final exams were approaching and I wasn't happy. I was way too attached to my friends at that point of time and everything they did or they didn't do used to make me sad.

I remember one day my then best friend was not coming to school and i was like all ready to go to school without her. The entire day no one talked to me. I did try and talk to people and have a conversation but no response. That time I used to think that every friend I have got in my class is because of my best friend and turns out I was right in some way. It was our dance period and that time I was with a complete different group of girls in our class. We were just sitting and talking about random things when one of them said, "…

Crumpled piece of paper

I feel worthless and useless
Like a crumpled piece of paper.  I try and try and try Yet nothing comes out of it I doubt myself and my capability I doubt my confidence I build it up but people break it down with a few words People who were once had a major part in my life But now, they are just strangers.  I think if I'll ever be successful  If I'll ever reach my expectations I try and try and try.  I see other people living excellent lives Their eyes carrying memories  Their eyes carrying spark of the future  Then I see myself My eyes dull with tears A plain black ball with no past Just aims set high  But getting nowhere near them.  I regret some things  I regret saying no If I said yes I would be better If I said yes I would be happier  If I said yes I would have memories.  I feel worthless and useless Like a crumpled piece of paper. 

Why social media scares me

Every time I make an account somewhere the first thing people would do is check your followers or fans or the number of friends you have.

I recently signed up on Instagram and trust me, it's worse than I thought it would be.

It just has a mechanism to make you feel bad about yourself. You send someone a request they accept it but don't follow you, you get enraged and you unfollow them. You start sending requests to people who you have never talked to just to get that sense of 'acceptance' and 'recognition' from that part of the society who think one should have 100 followers (minimum). You start comparing the number of your followers to others and that too with those who're supposedly your friends.

It's a good method of gaining satisfaction of course, about how many people are following you or will they follow you or YES(!!) they followed you. Not gonna lie, but when they actually follow you or when you gain that 'satisfactory' amount of followers …

Making A Decision

When i was in 3rd grade I always looked at people older than me in my school and wondered how life would be for them, would it be difficult or a  piece of cake? As I grew older I realized that, it isn't life that is hard or easy, it depends on you whether you complicate it or not.

I have always been an indecisive person. I couldn't choose between things, I didn't know if I was satisfied with a particular thing. But today is one of those days where I have to make a decision which would decide my future.

If you actually think about it, students making decisions which would adversely affect their future at 15 years of age does not make a lot of sense. I mean, I don't even know what i should wear when i go out somewhere.

I really don't want to be that person who after 20 years looks back on life and regrets the decision that the 15 year old me made. I don't want to upset the future me or the old me by doing something wrong now.

It's weird how you're just p…

The best photos I have taken in 2016

Image
Looking at all of these photos you must probably know by now that i love taking pictures of sunsets. It's one of those things for me which can never be enough. After all, every cloud has a silver lining.

Books I have read in 2016:

1. Life eternal
2. Love reborn
3. The selection
4. Eleanor and Park
5. Everything everything
6. A monster calls